From Janet Gunn's Journal today...

I believe things are really turning in a positive direction. It has been a very difficult six years especially the past three. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in 04 and it has been a struggle in more ways than one. I had to quit my job and apply for disability. My disease hit me hard and fast. One week I could go running and the next I couldn't do it any more. I used to curse my disease and played the victim for a very long time, but with my husbands help and patience I began to look at it differently. I started to realize the affect my thoughts were having on my body. When I really started to examine my thoughts and really be honest with myself I saw that I had extremely negative thought patterns especially about myself. I really always knew it I just thought that I had no control over them "This is just the way I feel" I would tell my husband. Which was the biggest lie I could tell myself. I guess I just wasn't ready to take responsibility for what I was creating so I manifested a disease that forced the issue. Doctors have no answers or cures for me only treatment which really didn't work all that well. So, it is up to me to heal myself. I feel that I have come a long way I no longer curse my disease I bless it for I have learned a great deal from all of this. I'm not the same person I once was, I'm better and stronger then before. It's really true, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."

Thank you Janet for the reminder that at every turn in our lives we get to choose to look for the curse or see the blessing.  It is our perspective that shifts the reality we live in.  Thank you for sharing your willingness to take responsibility for your life and your bold spirit that says onward and upward!

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This is your life...this is your life...this is your life - Can you dance with it?  This is what appeared in my journal several days ago after being very sick, going on a get-away with my husband and getting a call that my mom was in the ER.  Life is a little bit of everything!

There's the illusion that we will get to some place where things are calmer, more abundant, happier, etc.....but, the lesson that appears over and over is we have already arrived - this is it!  Without the sadness, challenge, juggling and crazyness of it all - wouldn't life be a little boring?

Perhaps, what there is to do is open our arms and give our life a gigantic hug...for everything that is is and everything that it is not.  We have arrived.  The question is...can you dance with the life you have?  What's your jig?  Are you flowing with it or pushing against it?  Can you smile and open your heart and move with ease from one step to the next?  If ever you are looking to be reminded of what it is to dance...look to a child!

Can you dance with life?  I can!  And...so can you!  Come share your dances here!

It all began last week when Shane said, "Mom, let's have dinner outside." I saw the cloud cover and caught the scent of rain and said YES, let's!  There was a slight breeze, dark clouds in the distance and anticipation of rain was in the air.  The rain dance was next!  And...then the RAIN!  It's a huge celebration here in the desert!  Anything to to break the heat is welcomed with open arms. 
We danced, we sang, we played basketball in the rain and then sat under the metal shade cover and listened to the sound of it.  We got wet.  My hair was a mess, my clothes felt sticky, I was getting bit by ants and none of it mattered.  The connection and the joy of being in this moment took over.
Letting go and surrendering to the moment...it doesn't always comes easy...but I'm practicing.  Every time I surrender, a gift awaits in the PRESENT moment.  Share your "Random Dancing" stories here!

Creating Pause Button Moments...
Your sanity is preserved with planning.  Set aside time for yourself. 
Life doesn’t schedule “pause button moments” for you.  You must find the gaps,
create the gaps and fill the gaps.  Otherwise life fills them for you!

Knowing When it’s Time to Write......
Be aware of your feelings... blah, irritable, uninspired, lack of energy or
focus, frustrated, angry, creative, inspired, bubbly...and write your way through.

Creating a Whole-istic Practice......
Journal in the nooks and crannies of everyday life - before anyone is up, late at night, waiting at the doctor’s office, in between meetings, at lunch, on scraps of paper, napkins, notebooks, on laptops, in coffee shops, in a car or in your closet.  Whenever, wherever and however you can!
Have a notebook handy at all times so when the need arises you are prepared.

Welcoming Delightful Side Effects.....
Bliss, clarity, joy, creativity, energy, well-BEing and more!

Discovering Your Write Mind...
Find that calm quiet place inside of you where you...
Feel peace and power amidst chaos
Express and expand who you are
Grow your roots deep
Stand tall in what you believe
Weave it all into everyday life
Shine bright!

and the more time you spend here, the more it begins to spill over beyond the pages
of your journal and into everyday life!  Dive into your own imaginary chair,
open your heart and get ready for an amazing ride! 

How to begin?  Take the first step!  Pick out a journal, join our writing community - The Journaling Lounge where you will be supported and inspired!  It's free & secure!

Here's the story...

starting with the background you should know.  Sanity Journals came to life when my first son was about 8 months old.  I felt a disconnect in my life – thrilled to be a mom, but sensed something missing.  At the same time I felt a huge calling to write.  I listened.  After writing and writing the disconnect morphed into a journey of... me knowing me, diving deeper spiritually and into my purpose, finding meaning in the day to day, exploring creativity and on and on.  In realizing the impact it had on my life, I knew I wanted to share it with others…Sanity Journals came to life.

Being a stay at home Mom and entrepreneur has been an interesting journey to say the least.  It stretches and pulls me in ways I never imagined or thought I could bend.  My commitment to being a Mom keeps me grounded and my dream to inspire souls leads me in other directions.  It is a fine act of finding balance day after day.  Some days guilt gets the best of me and I have visions of letting the dream go and other days the dream takes over and pulls me from being the Mom I want to be.  Some days it feels like too much and other days I'm on top of the world and can do it all.

Underneath...something has been holding me back for some time.  My boys are both in school now, I have more freedom and time to spend on growing my dream and yet I still feel one foot on the brake.  It's the fear that my dream will somehow pull me from my family.  Intellectually, I know this is nonsense because I have choice in the matter…but the fear still looms.

I came across this quote yesterday morning… I wrote it in my journal.

“We have to remember that our dreams are never meant to compete with our current lives, but to run parallel and enrich them.”

It really struck me!  It fit…it felt really good!   Wow!  And then last night I had the a-ha moment in my journal!  

Taken directly from my journal last night…

I feel grouchy, overwhelmed, angry - mad and angry.  I don’t know when I’m going to get my work done, I don’t feel like Quinton gets it, how am I supposed to be the mom I am, wife, friend and then expect to generate myself at 9pm at night to go to work!  This is my story - it’s a broken record, I’m over it, it feels so very real and yet I have reached a point where I can actually separate myself and see through it – this is the story that has been stopping me.  Who will you have to be to take on being a powerful woman leading a successful business and be the Mom that you are?

Are you ready to let go of this story – it doesn’t serve you or anybody.  It zaps your energy, gets in the way of you and Quinton and doesn’t do a damn bit of good.  This is just a story that keeps you from living your dreams.  How can you, will you step out of this and what do you want your new story to be? (yikes...who is this chick?)

The thought I marked in blue above...this is the story that has been stopping me!  It has worked perfectly in my life for some time now.  It has comforted me, helped me play safe and justified why I am not doing more - it has served me well.

What happened tonight and why did it lift off the page?  It's because I was ready.  I’ve been inquiring and it was time to surface.  I have outgrown this story.  I can feel it in the very core of my being.  I don’t know what’s next…not sure of the story I want to tell now…for now I'm enjoying the mystery.

We all have stories and things we say to explain why things are the way they are.  The question to ask is....do they still fit?

I dutifully parked my bike like a responsible, boring adult and sat down to watch HIM ride down the grassy hill.

He yelled, "Mom, aren't you going to ride down the hill?"  I leaped out of my seat at the idea, looked around at the people there and thought to myself, could I...of course I could...and why didn't I think of that!  

I thanked him on the way home for reminding me to get silly and have fun. Being an adult for me is easy...acting like a kid and being playful - not always the case.  I'm practicing and everytime I do I find myself DELIGHTED!

On the way home, he led the way.  We did things like making wishes by throwing rocks into the canal, follow the leader-singing version, silly body movements while riding and more! ;-)  By the way, there are NO limits on how many wishes you can make along the way ;-) - love that! 

What is your capacity for FUN?  Do you have limits and boundaries and act dutifully, like me? Do you act silly, let down your guards and come out to play?  Are you ready for groovy goggles & a bucket of water?  I can't wait to hear your thoughts and stories!

Books are my friends in some odd, wonderful way.  They whisper things into my being and mostly appear in my life in perfect timing.  

I'm inspired by the idea of living with less and my action is clearing out.  I have a large growing pile at my back door and one in my bedroom – the book pile.  The book pile is worth mentioning.   

As a little girl I had a nook in my closet of pillows and books...it was my own personal library.  Oh yes, I even had the old card check out system with a date stamp and all and lucky souls got to borrow books.   I loved to sit in my closet surrounded by books!

I think the world is upside down.  Prior to today, there has been no room for “getting rid of books”.  My philosophy has always been the more the better - the more on the shelf, the more comfortable I feel - they look cool, they feel cool and when I need them they are there.

I grabbed my cup of coffee and headed straight to the bookshelf to pull the first stack.  One by one I held them, read the title and knew instinctively what pile to put it in – “keepers” and “time to go”.  As I lifted each book, I wiped the dust of time and read the title.  Most told a story of a specific chapter in my life.   Each title represented a piece of me...old pieces, once broken pieces, growing and seeking pieces, trying to be something pieces, searching for connection and deeper meaning pieces and on and on.  Looking at the whole tower of “time to go” I saw that what was going was a part of me that had been on a frantic mission of searching and trying to get somewhere. 

I honor the seeking, learning and stretching parts of me and know they live on…but I feel deep joy releasing the frantic hurry of trying to get somewhere.

As I stare at the piles of books - I trust they will find their way into the hands of someone who is ready for them, just as I was when they appeared into my life.

Yikes...my bookshelf is naked!  Now, I see books that are treasured, useful or symbolic of something important AND a whole lot of empty space!  I'm breathing deeper and stretching wider!  I'm digging my bare book shelf and I think there is even room to add a pillow or two and call it a nook again!  

I'm intrigued and want to know your book stories!!!  Do share!

 

Knocking down walls, throwing away rules, letting go, feeling awkward, haulting the "workaholic engine" that drove me for so long, and finding joy in just BEing....this has been the last few months in my world!  The dust is setttling and new parts of me are leaping out...I'm desiring MORE fun, wild self-expression, and stretching into the unknown! Taking this desire and turning it into action has been interesting (the rule girl part of me isn't liking me so much right about now ;-)

The clearing away made visible a door of possibility.  It's the door of surrender and love.  It's the door of being willing to let go of control, step into the unknown and trust that what's next for me will unfold.  What I know for sure is that by stepping through I am opening my heart, letting go of outcomes, and putting myself out there in a bigger way.  I'm taking the leashes off my neurotic, deep, wacky, mushy, weird self to merge with the rest of me.  I realize that by not sharing it all...I have been holding back and playing safe.  Watch out world!   

Is there a door in your life ready to be opened?  I'd love to hear! 

Is there a challenge in your life that is consuming your thoughts and zapping your energy?
Write out what challenges you - release it from the circle of thought to allow for wisdom and clarity. Step back and ask yourself...how stressful is this really? What additional pressure and stress am I adding to it with my thoughts? Will it matter in 3 months/3 years?

Everything happens for a reason and there is a lesson to be learned and a silver lining available if you are open and willing to receive. Ask...why is this situation in my life? Who am I called to be? What, if any action is necessary? Brainstorm ways to respond.

Take action from your inner place of clarity and confidence!

Where do you go to get filled up? We live in a world constantly pointing us to be an "outy" - be more, do more and have more to be happy. What if we start looking to our "inny" side? Just maybe - what we truly hunger for is not the bowl of ice cream or glass of wine (well, sometimes it is ;-)) but for inner peace, faith in something larger and a playground to explore, dream, create and be who we are!

I began as an inny, became an outy and am now finding my way back inny!  I used to look to others for approval, to fill me up, make me happy and give me energy.  I have been learning over the past 10 years to grow my roots, stand tall in who I am, find peace within, surrender control and trust in the divine.  Journaling is the bridge to get to my inny self! 

Share your thoughts and where you are...inny, outy or somewhere in-between!  Head to The Lounge to see what others have said!